


Ask Memes and Bonding Exercises

by Aderam



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Gen, Team Bonding, Yuletide 2016, tomfoolery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aderam/pseuds/Aderam
Summary: The game is simple: Whoever answers the most questions correctly wins. It's time for another edition of Who's More Cryptic Anyway!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saltstreets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltstreets/gifts).



> Wooo! Much thanks to Saltstreets for the prompt! I tried to fit in some Football for you, but sadly I know nothing about it beyond playing soccer as a child.
> 
> Thanks also to [name redacted for secrecy until the reveal] for helping me with finding the best ask meme for the job. :)

**** Jake’s voice carries through the briefing room as he gestures toward the hand-made glittery sign on the flipchart. The sign is slightly mismatched with different colours of glitter and sharpie which means he probably didn’t give Amy enough time to make it before calling everyone into the briefing room. Under the name of the game there are two poorly drawn stick figures. The one with curly hair and a frown has been helpfully labelled “Rosa” in black ballpoint, and the one with straight hair and massive eyelashes says “Queen Gina” in sparkly pink gel pen.

“Hello boys and girls! And welcome to tonight’s edition of  _ Who’s More Cryptic Anyway _ !” he says, a little manic with the glow of the sleep deprived and overly caffeinated. “And you know the rules! Anyone can submit answers except Gina and Rosa. The person with the most points at the end of the night gets this glorious prize!” He gestures to a cardboard box about two feet square with a stationary company’s name on the side. It looks like it’s been re-taped several times.

“What’s in the box?” Scully asks from the back row, raising a hand.

Jake grins widely and gestures again, “Like our enigmatic duo, it’s a mystery!”

“OOOOOooooOO” Charles says loyally, eyes widening. “The jazz hands are really what makes the presentation work.” 

Both Gina and Rosa smirk, exchanging an amused glance.

“I hope it’s a sandwich,” Hitchcock says.

“Well you’ll have to win the game to find out,” Jake continues snippily, ignoring Scully’s mutters of agreement. “As usual, all the questions are from that ask meme that Terry accidentally sent around to all our work emails.”

“Terry makes one tragic reply-all mistake and you never let him forget it,” Terry muttered crossing his arms across his chest.

“That ask meme has like a billion questions. We’re not even halfway through,” Jake points out before continuing with his intro. “Also as usual, and to preserve my testicles in the state to which they are accustomed - thanks Rosa - Gina and Rosa need not provide the right answer if no one is able to guess.”

“Did you seriously threaten his balls?” Gina asks turning to Rosa, whose smirk expands into a full blown smile. “Rock on, sister.” Gina offers her hand for a fist bump, which Rosa returns with an eyeroll.

“So without further ado,” Jake says with a dramatic pause. “The first question - drumroll please -” Charles immediately starts rhythmically beating his hands against the desk in front of him. “Thank you, Charles. - Is for Gina,” Jake leans forward into the now-silent briefing room brandishing his note cards with a flourish. Gina leans forward as well, leaning her chin on her hands and batting her eyelashes.

“What is your dream city?” Jake asks. “And why? - Points will be awarded for city name only. Bonus points for why.”

“Paris!” Charles shouts, eyebrows arching in what he probably thinks is a seductive manner. “The City of Love.”

Gina turns to look at him with disgust. “First - gross,” she says. “Second - too many French people.”

“Ooo,” Amy suggests enthusiastically, “LA?”

“Oh, because I like glamourous celebrities? Be more creative, people.”

“Edmonton?” Captain H0lt asks walking into the briefing room.

“Where?” Gina asks.

“Captain Holt!” Jake says squaring his shoulders. “We were just -”

“- Conducting a team-building exercise,” Holt interrupts. “Yes, I see. Team building is essential for team morale. It also promotes efficiency in the workplace. Please, continue.” He waves a hand magnanimously and moves to stand next to Terry.

“Yes,” Amy says under her breath with a small fist pump, before mouthing “I told you so” at Jake. She marks a point for Gina on the whiteboard.

“Next question!” Jake says with a manic grin. “Rosa! What -” he pauses again for dramatic effect, “ is your favourite Pokémon?”

“Chewbacca!” Scully suggests.

There’s a beat of silence while the rest of the Nine-Nine processes this answer.

“Alright,” Jake says. “Any other guesses?”

“Charmander?” Charles asks.

“I’m really not that much of a pyromaniac,” Rosa refutes.

“Trick question!” Amy says snapping the fingers of her hand not holding the whiteboard marker. “She doesn’t have a favourite!”

“What kind of monster do you think she is?” Gina asks. “Everyone has a favourite Pokémon.”

“Yeah, Amy, harsh,” Rosa agrees, deadpan.

“Maybe you love them all equally?” Amy backtracks.

“Sure,” Rosa agrees. “And maybe I don’t have a favourite kid in the after-school program either.”

“That’s an awful thing to say,” Amy says shocked.

“Anyone who says they love a Weedle as much as Bulbasaur is lying to themselves,” Gina adds.

Rosa twitches slightly.

“It’s Bulbasaur!” Terry exclaims and Rosa swears in confirmation. “YES! Terry’s a detective!”

Rosa punches Gina in the arm, “Don’t go giving them ideas,” she hisses. “Next time I won’t hold back.”

“I deserve that,” Gina says magnanimously rubbing at her arm. “But for the record I had no idea your favourite was Bulbasaur. I would’ve guessed Jigglypuff.”

Amy writes Terry’s name on the board and adds a point while he celebrates.

“That was unexpected,” Jake says and looks down at his cue cards. “Next question! This one is for both of our contestants because I really want to know the answer. If you could transform into any animal, what would it be?”

“Rosa would be a tiger,” Charles says flexing his right hand like a set of claws. All three women in the room and Jake all grimace.

“No,” Rosa says with finality.

“And Gina,” Charles continues, undeterred. “Would be a giraffe.”

“I don’t even want to know your justification for that one,” Jake says.

“I’m sorry,” Gina says, consulting her phone. “Can we just take a minute to discuss why Terry wrote that he would be a pigeon?”

All eyes turn back to look at their sergeant. Terry crosses his arms across his chest defensively.

“Terry wants to be able to fly,” he says.

“Oh honey,” Gina says softly. “There are so many better options.”

“Gina would be a wolf,” Amy says getting them back on track. “It’s her spirit animal.”

“She’s right,” Gina admits. “I’d be surprised that you actually pay attention when I speak, but really, what else do you have to do here?”

“Thanks,” Amy says, “I think.”

She adds her own name to the board and gives herself a point.

“Next question!” Jake continues, “Rosa - when was the last time that you cried?”

Rosa crosses her arms over her chest and scowls.

“Rosa doesn’t cry,” Scully says.

“Yes she does,” Hitchcock replies, “I saw her last week outside the precinct!”

“When?” Rosa asks dubiously.

“Tuesday morning - your face was wet.”

“It was raining,” Rosa says slowly, like she’s speaking to an idiot. “My face was wet because of the rain.”

“Sure,” Hitchcock nods condescendingly, “that’s what they all say.”

“Can we give Hitchcock negative points?” Gina asks.

Amy adds Hitchcock’s name to the board and adds a negative without bothering to consult with Jake.

“So… that was traumatizing enough,” Jake says, “Moving on. Rosa gets the point. Gina,” he leans forward again, brandishing his cue cards toward Gina. “If you had any superpower, what would it be?”

“Flying?” Terry suggests.

“Boring,” Gina says examining her nails.

“Telepathy!” Amy suggests.

“The thing with the fire!” Charles says.

“Pyrokinesis,” Holt supplies and Charles nods enthusiastically.

“Is there a superpower that Gina wouldn’t want?” Rosa asks.

“Apparently just the best one,” Terry mutters sulkily to himself.

“Rosa, you are too right,” Gina smiles. “Why choose one superpower when the world needs me to have all of them?”

“Alright, points for everyone - except Rosa cause she’s not allowed to give answers,” Jake says, giving Rosa his best disappointed glare. She shrugs. Amy turns gleefully to the whiteboard to record the points. “But that still doesn’t answer which Gina’s favourite is.”

Gina leans back in her chair and grins.

“Okay,” Jake continues. “Last question. This one is for both of them. What never fails to make you happy? We’ll start with Rosa.”

“OOoo,” Amy says, “Secrecy! - Which I respect and honour.”

Rosa smiles ruefully and nods. Amy grins widely and adds another point to her column.

“Chasing bad guys!” Charles suggests.

“Dude,” Rosa says, “my last chase involved a fifty-four year old obese donut thief.”

“Hashtag - not all bad guys,” Gina adds.

“Alright,” Jake says, “now Gina’s turn.”

“Glitter!”

“WiFi!”

“Too vague,” Gina says. “Glitter and WiFi are only as good as the things they’re on or bring to me.”

“Dance,” Holt says with determination.

“Point to the Captain,” Gina allows, sharing a smile with Holt.

“Any other answers?” Jake asks. Scully opens his mouth, but Jake quickly continues before he can say anything. “Then that’s it for today’s edition of  _ Who’s More Cryptic Anyway _ ! And our winner is…” Charles provides a drumroll without having to be asked and Jake gestures expansively to the whiteboard, “our very own - Amy Santiago!”

Amy grins widely and jumps for joy. “YES!”

“Amy, you may claim your prize,” Jake says solemnly, holding the box out to her. 

Amy opens the flaps on the top of the box and pulls out a plain black stapler.

“A Swingline 747!” she exclaims.

“So weird,” Jake mutters to himself, but he’s smiling fondly at her.

“Alright guys,” Terry says with a hint of disappointment. “Back to work.”

Happily clutching the stapler, Amy goes to clear off the whiteboard while the others all start to get back to work.

“Check your email,” Gina says quietly to Rosa in the noise of everyone leaving the briefing room before she follows them out.

Rosa raises a skeptical eyebrow but reaches to pull her phone out of her back pocket. There’s a notification for an email on her personal account - the one she doesn’t give out to her coworkers. 

The email is from  [ wolfunicorn87@hotmail.com ](mailto:wolfunicorn87@hotmail.com) and doesn’t have a subject. The body of the email is a series of bullet points, all seemingly unconnected. Rosa frowns at her screen and then realizes the connection - it’s the answers to Jake’s questions for Rosa; all correct.

The last line of the email just says “I won’t tell.”

Rosa looks up and meets Gina’s eyes from across the bull pen. Gina’s back at her desk, phone in hand, and she’s smiling softly at Rosa.

Rosa smiles back, slow and big - and raises her middle finger at the last minute to ruin the picture Amy was trying to take on her phone.

“Aubergine!” Amy fake-swears with feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> Final Scores:  
> Gina - 1  
> Rosa - 2  
> Terry - 1  
> Amy - 3  
> Hitchcock - (-1)  
> Charles - 1  
> Holt - 2
> 
> And the prize: [Swingline 747 Stapler](http://www.staples.ca/en/Swingline-747-Contour-Business-Professional-Stapler-Black-20-Sheet-Capacity/product_441814_2-CA_1_20001).


End file.
